The story of my life

By Samnang Tho
Minneapolis, MN
 
(Continued from volume I issue IV)

               A few months had  already passed. Things weren’t any better. It was December and it was cold ! My mother’s visits had become more regular but my siblings seldom came to see me. I was five months pregnant, my belly was big. There was a life inside me moving and kicking anxiously. But I understood, sometimes I had wished it stayed inside my womb and never came out to live in this cold world. Other times, I wished it would come out soon so I could have a companion, someone to talk  about problems with; happy  and sad things about life, someone to laugh with and to care for. I wanted to teach it good things, not the bad things I did but the good things  I was trying to do. I desperately wanted my baby to see how confusing it felt sometimes to be a Cambodian girl living in America; a child of the “peasants”. I was already used to this world, a world of hypocrisy and  narrow-mindedness. I couldn’t wait to tell it all about life, about grandmothers and grandfathers, about aunts and uncles, and about how this world is living their lives. I couldn’t wait to see who this little thing inside of me  was going to look like.

            I was  doing the same things as always: cooking, cleaning, and trying to be a good wife and in-law. Nowhere to go and not many friends to  visit, the only place that I was familiar with was library. I  visited this interesting place a lot recently. I  read and studied at home when I could. Books were my friends and  reading was my only escape from my cold little world. I traveled to many different places and saw many different people and cultures, and explored new ideas through my reading journey.

            The communication between my mother-in-law and I was never a problem but it was getting better. I guess time heals all wounds. As for Jacqueline, she didn’t talk to me excepted if she needed to, then she would either yell at me or snicker at me. Most of the time, she did both, time heals some wounds! Jacqueline was enrolled at University of Minnesota studying to be a doctor. She was quite popular on campus, everybody knew her. She was very active and joined many different clubs on campus; such as the ski club, science club, and Chinese club. But definitely NOT the Cambodian students club. Of course, she had a lot to say about Cambodian student club. She said “Cambodian students never respect each other at meetings, they don’t  know how to organize a meeting.  They look down on one another.” In fact, she never told her new “friends” that she was Cambodian.

 *       *     *

Ding! Ding! Ding!

            -Hi, my name is Jane. I am Samnang’s friend. Is she home?             
            -She’s not here! Bammmm! Jacqueline slammed the door in Jane’s face and walked  to her room. 
            -“Gosh, I hate those Jehovah’s Witness people !” she complained, in half  English, half Cambodian, “What do we have here for them to witness?”
            I heard the door slam and Jacqueline’s complaining.  I looked at the clock, 9:00A.M! Oh, God ...that must be Jane. I hurried out, open the door and  saw Jane walking away.
            -"Jane!..., Jane..., Jane!  She turned around and was surprised to see me.
            -"What does she want?” Jacqueline yelled from her room.
            -Chah Bong, she is my friend. She is my tutor.
            -“Tutor ? tutor what? How to raise a child?!! It’s not worth it! You can’t even be a good wife!! And you want to go to school again? Do you realize how many times you dropped out of school?,” Jacqueline sneered at me.
            -"Bong, school is not the only place to get an education,” I could no longer  contain myself, so I shot back but politely as if to explain to an educated             person what  education  means. Jacqueline was in rage now. She did not expect a younger person to talk back, let alone a sister-in-law; a whore and peasant.
          -"Oh yeah?! What did you learn in that gang of yours? Respect? You can’t even respect your family! You losers are nothing but the scumbags of the society!
           -”Chah Bong, I learned a lot in the gang. The things I learned  were not necessary good things but I had learned  something.” I gasped,  I almost choked  on the  words.
             I never had verbal  confrontation  with an older person before. I was never good with words. I could tell Jacqueline was on fire. I am sure she tortured  me with all kinds of things in her imagination. She slammed her bedroom door. I wondered why Jacqueline was always in a bad mood. What the hell does it mean to be a good  wife?!! What are losers and scumbags of the society? Who the hell was she??!!
          -"Hi, Mrs. Hauer, How are you? Sorry about everything, I was up late last night.
      -"Hello, Samnang, that’s okay. The baby must have kept you awake all night.
       How are you?" Mrs. Hauer added.
       -“Fine, thank you, no I stayed up reading.  Come in please... um, that was my sister-in-law. She didn’t know I was inside my room, sorry about that,” I tried to explain to Mrs. Hauer about Jacqueline’s behavior, I knew she was surprised and embarrassed.

             I met Jane Hauer through Ruth Moores, one of our neighbors, about three months ago while I was raking leaves in the back yard. Mrs. Moores introduced me to Jane Hauer  who had been living in the neighborhood for forty years. Mrs. Hauer was a retired  school teacher. She had been helping me  with reading, writing, and math. She always taught me how to take care of my body, especially when I was pregnant with Veasna. She always asked me to write about my life in Cambodia,  the refugee camp, and my experience in America. Sometimes she brought stories about her life. We would exchange papers. She read my paper and I read  hers. She often told me that my story was very similar to her parents’. They did not speak English at all when they first came from Germany. They came to America to seek freedom. As Jews, they were not welcome  in Germany. Sometimes I wondered why she is so good to me. I guessed it was because she had nothing else to do.

             We both sat on the sofa drinking hot apple cider and I could still see the shock in Jane’s face.
      -"What’s your sister-in-law’s name?" asked  Mrs. Hauer.
      -"Sopheap--umm, I mean, Jacqueline. Well, Jacqueline is her American name." I stumbled.
       -"You have American name?" asked Jane
       -"No, just Samnang. It can’t be translated in any languages but in Cambodian it means lucky or fortunate. I don’t know why my parents called me that.
        -"Well, because you are lucky.” Jane said  with a smile on her face.
I just looked down shyly in agreement and  at the same time thinking what luck means in my life.
       -"What does Sopheap mean?” asked Jane curiously.
       -"Well, it means soft personality, calm, and/or polite.
       -"I see. Jane nodded  as if to say that Jacqueline didn’t act or look like her name at all.
         -"Anyway, I have some good news to tell you." Jane added excitedly.
 
To be continued in the next issue

  Volume 1 Issue 5 December 1996

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